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  • Collegian staff

The Fast Break Sports Report May 2

Updated: May 3, 2023

Skeet Starr

Sports Editor

Art by Minna Zhou

Hello Bearcat fan! What can be said about the Willamette 2022-23 sports calendar that hasn’t been said? Perhaps only that it is in fact an elaborate psy-op carried out by the Salem Police Department in tandem with the CIA, designed to increase the population’s tolerance for sightings of taxonomically ambiguous creatures (Blitz), in order to test the waters in preparation for a potential reduction in government funds for cryptid-human relations management. Other than that, the facts of this sporting year and our feelings about it might as well be etched on every desk, wall, and brick in the institution. Now, for one last time this school year, let’s go to the news!

CONFERENCE CHAMPS, men’s golf, will keep swinging long after the final day of classes at the national D3 tournament in Nicholasville, Kentucky.

Baseball got washed at Pacific (losing 1-18) but cleaned up nicely over the next two days against inferior Whitworth and Puget Sound sides. The Basecats will wrap the year up over a three game series against Occidental on the 6th.

Track & field has several more potential tournaments over the month of May, but are mostly done for the year. At the OSU high performance meet several runners broke their personal records, and Zoe Heino (‘23) took 6th in the 5,000 meter run.

Consider in the coming weeks: Do the aging summer leaves almost make you glad for the inevitability of decay? Don’t each in their own way remind us that impermanence is the truest liberator of our rutted minds? Good luck in your finals, Bearcats, and have a bearcatstic summer!

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