Staff Picks: Which Holiday Dish to Sacrifice
Topic: If you could destroy one holiday dish forever, what would it be?
Edited by David Flanagan, Opinions Editor
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed here are the individual staff member’s own, and do not reflect the perspectives of the Collegian staff as a whole, nor the view of the Collegian as an institution.
The Pick: Fruit Cake
Submitted by: Kathleen Forrest, Editor-in-Chief
Staff Comment: I believe that fruit cake must be obliterated, once and for all. ‘But,’ you may say, ‘but my grandmother makes a fantastic fruit cake!’ Well good for you. But is that one fruit cake worth all the bad fruit cakes in the world? All the dry, sad creatures that comport themselves as a holiday desert? There are certainly cultural exceptions, there are cakes with fruit in them that deserve their place in the world and our hearts. But the traditional Western fruit cake has no redeeming qualities, save as a punchline. It is so often, so easily done terribly, and I would even suggest that a well made fruit cake cannot overcome the fundamental flaws of its existence thus making it, at best, mediocre.
The Pick: Green Bean Casserole
Submitted by: Piper Lehr, Lifestyles Editor
Staff Comment: Green bean casserole isn’t necessarily the worst dish in the world, but people often kill it by making it with canned ingredients due to laziness. It’s one of those dishes where you need to either go all out with all fresh ingredients or go home, because canned grean beans are the worst things in the world.
The Pick: Creamed Spinach
Submitted by: David Flanagan, Opinions Editor
Staff Comment: I’d snap creamed spinach out of existence. Then I’d snap again. And again. And one more time, just to be sure.
Creamed spinach is the Kids Bop of vegetable dishes, pulverized and puréed until no traces of flavor, texture, or nutrition remain. The top scientific minds of our generation remain confounded at how a dish containing so many delicious ingredients - spinach, butter, milk, spices - could end up as inedible slop. I tried to feed creamed spinach to my pig, and you know what she said? “No thanks. Got any thumbtacks?”
I’ll speak out and fight against creamed spinach until the day I die. And when I fall in the line of duty and end up in hell, you can bet your bottom dollar I’ll see creamed spinach there.
The Pick: Maduros
Submitted by: Inéz Nieves, Opinions Contributor
Staff Comment: In my household, we always have a traditional Cuban dinner for Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, New Years, and Three King's Day. And every year, we always have a debate on whether or not my mom should make maduros or tostones. Well, I'm staking my flag here. No more maduros. I'm so tired of mushy plantains! They're too sweet, too! Tostones are perfect because they're crispy on the outside and soft on the inside, and they're sweet and salty without being too overwhelming in either aspect. Cuban tostones are the best! (I hope my mom reads this, haha.)