Commentary: Stickers around Salem, part two!

Chrissy Ewald

Staff writer

Again inspired by Jasmyne Keimig’s [series] “Seattle Sticker Patrol” at Seattle’s alt weekly paper The Stranger, this time I took my camera around downtown and to Lincoln City. A customary reminder that neither I nor the Collegian endorse stickering and tagging, and the sentiments expressed in these stickers do not necessarily reflect our beliefs.

Photo submissions of stickers, (legible) graffiti and attributions for featured stickers are welcome at <ceewald>.

“Corona 2020: If You can Read This, You’re WAY too Close!"

This is meant to be a bumper sticker, but I’m considering getting a copy for myself and sticking it on my back for when I go to Goudy.

“Divisive Political Opinion (Smug Afterthought)”

OK, edgelord. While this does accurately describe about ninety percent of the content of this series, providing the smug afterthought is my job.

“Jesus Hates You”

Jesus hates you, Uncle Sam wants you, women want you, fish fear you… who ARE you?

“Surfers: The Other White Meat”

…what’s the first white meat?

“Wulapalooza” 2006 and 2008

These were seen on campus. RIP Wulapalooza, gone but never forgotten.

Chief Wiggum “Let Your Spirit Soar”

Is this some Kronos Greek Mythology narrative superimposed onto the Simpsons? Upon further research, necessary because I don’t watch the Simpsons, this is probably referencing the episode D'oh-in' in the Wind, from the show’s tenth season.

“Free the Green: the pursuit of life liberty and happiness”

Weed is legal in Oregon, so, congrats to the artist. Enjoy your freedom, and stock up on chips.

"The Hand Talks Back"

This is the logo of NHS Skateboards, based in Santa Cruz. The original art is by [Jim Phillips]!

“Birds Aren’t Real”

I knew [these guys] were going to show up sometime. I don’t get it, but I respect it.

"Can I get a Kermit Supreme?"

muppet? you want muppet? [ingredience]...

“Fake News Bible"

Look on My works, ye mighty, and make fun of them.

"Kirby is Baby"

He’s just baby! I wish the stickerer hadn’t put this over the Internationale of Snuggly Wuggly Socialists sticker, because as an ardent, avowed socialist, Kirby belongs among them.

“Vote JFK”

This JFK is from Clone High. But sure, I’ll give him my endorsement for 2024.

“‘That’s What She Said’ –Michael Scott”

They weren't lying—that Michael Scott sure can say that all the time.

“Banana Fish”

This is from an anime, but they look like an early aughts boy band. That MySpace angle brings me back.

“40 Years of Meredith”

The Pax Mereditha. Long may she reign!

Here’s your warning that we’re entering political territory. Tread carefully!

“Kick Racism out of Racists”

I was debating whether to put this in the political section because I think opposing racism is more a moral stance than a political one. But since we might disagree on methodology here, I figured this was the best place. Don’t skip leg day.

“No Rulers • Not No Rules: Gasoline: Start Fresh”

“No rulers, not no rules” is a classic anarchist slogan, but setting the planet on fire to “start fresh” sounds more like, well, eugenics. Maybe we’re just getting rid of the countries?

“Where We Go One, We Go All: Q”

Where they go one, they go all: to jail. :)

“FCK NZS”

Thank you, anonymous Salemander, for your discretionary censorship. If you do it, I don’t have to.

“If the Kids are United, They Will Never be Divided: Good Night White Pride”

I’m not impressed with this, rhetorically. The first bit of this is just a truism! Like, by definition, if you are united, you are not divided.

“C•O•M•R•A•D•E•S”

If this show includes murder by ice pick in a barn in Mexico, I’m in! But in all seriousness, this is very cute.

“America First: Patriot Front US”

Not my America, not my patriotism.

“Empowered Women Empower Women”

…to cover up anti-Nazi stickers? Yikes. Feminism is incomplete without opposing the forces that oppress all women, so that includes Nazis.

"Badmissile"

Really hot potato. Gold star to this sticker for visual interest and for amusing every PPLE student at WU.