Hello, Bearcat Fan! Men’s Soccer has hired a new coach, SCAN is preparing for war with the Athletics Department and sports writers are racing to cover it all as we speak. For my part, a raven knocked on my window seeking respite from the spring rains, so I’ve been trying to teach it to read and regurgitate Willamette sports scores for me. Unfortunately, all he’s done so far is complain about Poe’s reductivity. Let’s caw to the news! The Basecats demolished Pacific in back-to-back games but were knocked out in a similar fashion in game three. Regardless, they are back on top of the conference. Tenley Grant (‘25) knocked on the door of Willamette’s hammer throw record at the Jenn Boyman Invitational track meet, throwing down 158’ 8’’ in the last attempt of the day. Will Hennum (‘25) won the steeplechase, Zoe Heino (‘26) won the 3000-meter and Lecia Sincere (‘25) won the triple jump. The ‘Cats are gearing up for the conference meet. Men’s Golf was sitting in second place as night fell on day one of the NWC Classic. They should be wrapped up by the time this Fast Break hits the site. The Women finished day one at seventh. Lacrosse thrashed Whitman (19-3), then scraped out a win over Whitworth (14-11). Could they finally achieve conference supremacy? Both the Tennis teams had a bad case of the Whitman Blues, failing to find any victory across nine matchups. They fared little better against the Pirates, Pioneers and Boxers. Softball brought one win of a possible four back from the Lutes in Tacoma. They remain ahead of only Whitworth in the standings. In the world of sport: Only No. 1 seeds made the March Madness finals. South Carolina won the women’s division, the men will have a champion by Monday night and here at home, the Willamette Soccer Club hosted the first ever Bearkitty Cup. Consider in the coming weeks: Why did the scorpion sting the frog, and alternatively, what’s it going to take for tennis to start winning?

As Willamette University bids farewell to Andrew Fresh, Sidd Saini, the previous associate director of Campus Safety, stepped into his new role as the director of Campus Safety and Emergency Department on March 2 ready to bring fresh insights to the safety of the Salem campus community. Saini brings a new perspective to the Campus Safety Department as he joins with a diverse and unique background. He came to the U.S. as a transfer student from India at 17 years old and graduated from the University of Washington with a degree in integrated technologies (IT). Though unrelated to his degree, Saini has a passion for public safety and finds fulfillment in working with students and contributing to his community. “A lot of people usually wonder [why] I have a bachelor’s in IT and didn’t go work for Microsoft, but it wasn’t about my degree. My interest developed in public safety, as I love to help people in need, especially students on campus,” said Saini. “That was the major attraction to my role; it’s just that passion and excitement that come with knowing students are the future of our country and making sure they have a safe and positive environment where they have a sense of belonging. I want to be the person that can contribute to that.” Despite his parents’ disapproval, Saini pursued his passion for public safety, initially with an interest in being an FBI agent. He had a few different positions at the Department of Homeland Security before moving on to be a police officer at the UW Tacoma campus, from which he’d previously graduated. He worked as a campus safety officer there while simultaneously acting as a community liaison, and recalls this time as a very special and joyful experience. Eventually, Saini moved on to become associate director of security at Whitman College in Walla Walla before being promoted to interim director of security within a year. For personal and geographical reasons, Saini looked into moving to Oregon and found a position at Willamette’s PNCA Campus in April of 2023 as associate director of campus safety. Since Willamette, along with Whitman, is a part of the Northwest 5 Colleges Consortium, Saini had heard a lot about the campus and worked closely with the SEAL office as well as with Fresh himself. As the PNCA campus was advancing and moving in a new direction, Saini found himself excited to take on the new director role ten months later with hopes of initiating and implementing a fresh perspective. “Within that short time, here I am as the director of Campus Safety,” said Saini. Even though he’ll miss his time on the PNCA campus, he explained it felt like the right thing for him to take on the new role as he already knows the vision and mission of Willamette University. As the associate director, Saini was supposed to work mainly on the Salem campus and partly at PNCA. However as the need for an associate director was much larger at the PNCA campus, it ended up becoming his primary location for the role. While there, Saini was able to help restructure the Campus Safety Department, issue new badges and uniforms, manage scheduling issues and create partnerships with stakeholders such as the deans, the Student Affairs Office, other campus offices and faculty, as well as the local Police Department and the campus-contracted security Echelon. As for his new position, Saini’s top priorities include updating the Emergency Preparedness Procedures to match the current gold standard, implementing new crisis management strategies, creating intervention and de-escalation training for the officers and ensuring they obtain Federal Emergency Management Agency Certifications. Besides his role’s responsibilities and duties, Saini also wants to build bridges with the student body and create connections through partnerships with the campus clubs and organizations. He has already begun taking part in on-campus events such as the Black Tie Affair where he helped as an attendant. Additionally, Saini would like to add more cameras, especially in parking lots such as the football field’s. He is hoping to deter and prevent individuals from breaking into students' cars, minimize bike theft, and increase the chances of catching individuals involved in break-in instances. Besides that, Saini aims to improve the Campus Safety vehicle by adding emergency lights in the rear end of their newly acquired Kia Sportage. In the future, when Campus Safety can afford the purchase, he added that a second vehicle would be helpful but maintained that the two current golf carts are a good alternative. Equally important, Saini shared that he will ensure students’ safety by informing them of any upcoming protests at the Capitol.  He is planning to do so by utilizing current protocols of providing timely warnings to the student body, as well as updating the community with information gathered from reliable sources. Furthermore, while there are current Emergency Preparedness Procedures in place for responding to weather emergencies, Saini noted that it is on his radar to update them for more efficient best practices of emergency management. Moreover, he highlighted the importance of training more individuals and assigning key role players who are able to jump in and help when needed. As for earthquakes, from a Campus Safety standpoint, there are Emergency Operation Centers that can be activated. This activation includes moving everyone to a safe location using the mass communication system, conducting a head count, then assessing damages and determining how and where to relocate students. Besides his goals for the new role, Saini mentioned that being understaffed is a hurdle. Currently, the Willamette Campus Safety Department only consists of seven officers and three office and administrative staff members besides himself. “I am a big fan of working in two, but I can’t be boots on the ground all the time within my manager role,” expressed Saini, adding that having more officers would allow for the possibility of having supervisors or lead officers, consequently creating a hierarchy that may prove to be helpful as responsibilities would be more spread out. Lastly of Saini’s goals within the new role, he affirmed that transparency, clarity and honest communication are his keys to building trust with the student body. He hopes to be approachable and quickly responsive to all students, as well as encourages all community members to reach out to him in his office or via email with any questions, concerns or just to say hello. Finally, Saini emphasized that in his work, it is vital to be in partnership with students, as they are the ones who can report concerns to ensure the safety of their community. “I try to put myself in a student's shoe[s] and respond that way,” said Saini. “Come talk to me and we will see what we can do to create an even safer environment for the Willamette community.”

PDX’s Tillamook Market was a mere siren’s call. It was 10:30 in the morning. A woman thumped the keys of a piano behind our table at the airport restaurant, playing whatever music she had memorized including the Charlie Brown theme song. I was annoyed, and so was Jasper; we had to get out of there. Dragging ourselves toward our supposed gate was difficult. Jasper gravitated toward The Oregonian news outlet, where he picked up some toothpaste, a Powerade and a bottle of Excedrin. As tempted as I was to cure my hangover, the warning on the Excedrin bottle about liver damage scared me. We sat silently on a bench for a while as Jasper sipped his drink, just out of reach of the piano chords that still littered the air. The Pennzoil 400 sat before me, and I was going to make it mine. The trip was spurred a few weeks earlier by a viewing of Will Ferrell’s “Talladega Knights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.” As Hemmingway once said, “There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing and mountaineering; all the rest are merely games.” A NASCAR race — the power, the shriek, the metal and the speed — was a sports journalist’s dream. We had to go to one of these things. The Pennzoil 400 in Las Vegas was the closest and loomed just around the corner. Finally at the terminal gate, a man interrupted Jasper’s and my conversation. He turned to me, his teeth sitting unusually straight. I laughed as he asked for gum I’d just put away and even more when he asserted that Jasper and I made a good couple. “Thank you, but we’re just friends,” I replied. Disappointment or even embarrassment laced his voice: “Oh. That's nice too. I’ve never been very good at making friends, especially as a kid.” I felt awkward, and I think he did too. Halfway through boarding, a woman on the PA informed us that all flights in and out of Vegas were grounded due to high winds. I asked Jasper if he wanted to get a beer. That was that. By the time we crawled back to the gate, we were each six drinks deep. A man who wore a fluorescent vest slumped by with leathered skin. His hair stood up in a strip across the middle of his head, thinned by time at the top. “Lizard Man,” I said to Jasper. He laughed. We boarded our Spirit flight six hours after our arrival at the airport. Anticipation left my body as the plane ascended, and I fell asleep. I woke to the sound of the seatbelt light turning on. My stomach fell as the floor was pulled out from under my feet, then put back. The seats around me creaked, their bolts straining to keep them stable. On the other side of me, the windows glowed with city lights. Jasper rocked forward and back, his eyes sealed tight. The seats groaned louder as we approached the ground; the panels lining the plane vibrated as the wheels slammed into the tarmac. We braked. The panels shook violently, and our bodies pressed against our seatbelts. A sigh of relief was heard throughout the plane. I turned to Jasper. “I am going to clap.” He looked at me with humor in his eyes: “Do it.” I clapped once and was immediately joined by at least half the aircraft. This trip was already a joke and I was excited to see just how funny things would get. Jasper and I Ubered from the airport — an overwhelming nightmare with its constant jingling of slot machines, the smell of cigarette smoke and flashing lights. We arrived at our hotel, a Howard Johnson just a block off the strip. My mom had gotten in my head about staying at a “Ho Jo,” saying I “wasn’t allowed to get murdered … or shot.” In an attempt to soothe her mind, I assured her I’d be with a man, to which she responded: “Yeah ... but he's British.” The beds were clean. It didn’t matter that the floor was littered with stains or that mold clung to the bottom of the shower curtain. Jasper left to get drinks, and I slumped on my bed. When he returned with a twelve-pack of Twisted Teas, we finished the case, then hit the strip. Our green flag was up, hours before it would raise at tomorrow’s Pennzoil exhibition. I was reignited with excitement previously dulled by travel. Godless light blinked at me in every direction, and I was elated by the unnatural feeling of it all. The skyline loomed over us and cars whizzed by carelessly. The world from top to ground was branded, and the Aria Mall called our names. The mall was eerie — no one was there. I expected Jasper to be waiting for me outside the bathroom after, but he was nowhere to be found. I waited. Jasper soon emerged from the men's restroom with his shoulders slanted and square after throwing up. We kept walking. A mediocre Bellagio fountain show spewed to a popular classical music tune, and we stood watching, falsely enamored. A man behind us was selling hotdogs. We peeled ourselves up the walkway into the entrance of the Bellagio. Light pressed through the colored Dale Chihuly glass lining the ceiling like a mangled bird of paradise. The labyrinth of slot machines pinged to the right, begging for our entrance. We wandered through the maze of machines, gazing at a plethora of people. A large man received a massage from a small woman who had “Massage” written across her back. Old women sat hunched towards the screens, and couples sat side by side, lifting cigarettes back and forth between their mouths. We wandered Caesars Palace in crowds of small women in tight dresses and tourists looking for magic in machines, which I found easily. ‘Just a feeling’ tugged at my skin and eventually the feeling yielded ‘credits’ which cashed out and put Jasper $30 in the green. I am magic. Men ambling around me made my stomach rage with their smug faces full of unknowing and cockiness. They were dogs, and I was going to bark at them. We drank more. Planet Hollywood seemed dingier than the casinos we were in before. It was darker, and the machines glowed more red. I went to take a photo of Jasper. My phone was gone. The woman at the Bellagio (?) bar looked relieved to see me when I ventured back. “It’s you,” she said, as if she’d been waiting for me all her life, then handed me my phone. Women in black bedazzled outfits that covered just the important parts danced on the tables. I was tired; I wanted to lie down. Cold tile pressed against my back. This had to be gross, but it looked so clean and there was practically no one here. I wanted to leave this place. Raising Cane’s was a delicacy from home that I often missed at school. Its blinking sign was equivalent to an angel being sent before me, instructing me to “be not afraid.” The fast-food haunt was full of reddened Australian men in rugby jerseys, babbling on about what to get. Most of them clutched collectible Las Vegas Kings cups tight to their stomachs. Jasper and I annihilated our chicken. I needed to go to bed. I woke up Sunday morning, and God had it out for me. So many horrible things happened that it took every ounce of my remaining strength to even type them, but after all that work it was slashed with a mutter about "bio-capitalism." All was a swirl of bathtubs and wrath, but it was the perfect day to spend some time outdoors at the track. The tickets were burning a hole in my pocket, and it was race day — the goddamn Pennzoil 400 in Sin City, USA. We sat high in the stands with a view of the whole arena. RVs sat parked in the center, waiting for the speed. USAF Thunderbirds soared above, and Jasper began shaking in fear. Each car flew around the track. The sound ripped by, rumbling the seats beneath us. My skin cracked in the wind and desert sun. People hollered and the man sitting behind me roared: “I’m not here for the racing; I’m here for the crashing.” Flags flew. The smell of burnt rubber and oil soaked the air. Despite all the anticipation and excitement for this day, the tumble and crash to reach this moment, I felt nothing but a headache. Around and around the cars bolted monotonously. Behind the track, the skyline of the strip was clouded in dust, contrasting the mountains sitting steadfast and immovable against the scene below. Tepid in my seat, the Pennzoil 400 darted by. I was ready to leave Las Vegas.

Deep within the nature at Willamette's Salem campus, the students of the Biodiversity and Climate Change class, taught by Professor David Craig, wait for opportunity to strike. They sit observing, silent, getting ready for the perfect shot to log into their iNaturalist profiles. The app iNaturalist is designed for scientists, biologists and anyone who loves observing critters to take photos of and record any organism they see. The app helps observers figure out what sort of animal they are looking at and allows scientists to use this data. Rose Grimpson (‘27) explained that iNaturalist is an “online platform where scientists and just observers, biologists, anyone in the field community around the world can post observations.” After the picture has been taken, the app’s AI software will try to identify the organism, and if it can’t, people from the community can identify it as well. Grimpson continued, “Sometimes you’ll get a flag that says research grade because you’ve taken enough or good enough pictures of an animal that can be used for research.” As a whole, the class has 18,280 observations and 361 species identified from the sunset-colored turkey tail mushroom to the adorable seals of the Oregon coast and the majestic red-tailed hawk. Many of Grimpson's 93 observations came from her internship at the Grande Ronde Reservation, and her favorite is the rough-skinned newt. “They are actually one of the most poisonous newts ever!” she explained. “They hold enough poison to kill three adult horses in one sitting. The reason for that is because the garter snake is immune to their poison so they have to keep upping their poison dosage to play an arms race with the garter snake and keep evolving so that the snakes don’t kill them. They’re iconic to Oregon and I was so excited to see a couple, so they’re on my iNaturalist profile.” Other discoveries observed by Grimpson are witch’s butter, a sand dollar and many species of mushrooms. Frequently found around the Mill Stream is Blue Kalmbach (‘27), waiting for the geese to make an appearance. “My personal project right now,” Kalmbach shared, “is hunting down the geese because there is a pair of geese right now that are nesting. I am kind of stalking the geese whenever I can, so my iNaturalist right now is just pictures of their movements around campus so I can catch where they nest.” Because their favorite color is blue, Kalmbach is also a fan of their observations of all the blue-colored birds on campus like the great blue heron and the scrub jay. The iNaturalist craze has also led students like Teya Fukuhara (‘27) off-campus to do their observing on the Oregon coast. Fukuhara went tidepooling with their partner and enjoyed documenting the seals. “They were so cute!” Fukuhara said. “They flop around on the rocks; it’s really funny. We saw sea lions too. They were really loud.” Some of Fukuhara’s other favorite observations made on campus have been the great blue heron and the bees. Fukuhara’s iNaturalist goal is to log 250 animals by the end of the year. Armed with his camera and a love of nature, Nate Rutter (‘24) dives outside to log observations for iNaturalist. He explained that many of his observations have been birds: “I’ve seen dark-eyed juncos, American robins, and various species of duck. There is this weird domesticated duck called a Myscovie duck which I saw. There is also the lesser goldfinch. I’ve also seen a lot of different fungi like shelf fungi, regular ground mushrooms, and turkey tail mushrooms.” Rutter has also been “trying to get more images of hawks because they’re a lot harder to see and they usually perch much higher up in trees that are coniferous, so they’re usually covered by pine needles or protection.” He recently captured his first image of the red-tailed hawk in Colorado. “Just this last week, I was in Colorado touring for a Ph.D. program, and I was able to catch a red-tailed hawk. So it was the first time I had seen or at least captured a red-tailed hawk on camera. I only got it as it started to soar off, so I got it with its wings extended. It was beautiful.” Rutter reflected on the benefits of iNaturalist and the Biodiversity and Climate Change class: “I’m always surprised at how many different species there are around us that we don’t notice or we don't always pay attention to on a daily basis. I think that the purpose of this class is to force people to stop and take a look at the things we would normally pass up, and it’s great that we live on a campus that’s so biologically diverse because there are other places that don’t have that.”

Extending the clock forward by one hour and losing that extra quantity of sleep in exchange for extra daylight in the evenings is absolutely ludicrous. Many believe the origin of DST (Daylight Savings Time) was “to give the farmers an extra hour of sunlight to till their fields.” However, this concept is inaccurate. In plain terms, farmers aren’t and haven't been affected by this annual time adjustment, nor are there other real benefits to the change. What does an extra hour added to the day accomplish? Nothing but more light in the evenings and a great deal of sleep deprivation. After an unsuccessful proposal in 1895 by entomologist George Vernon Hudson that suggested there should be “an annual two-hour time shift to the Royal Society of New Zealand,” the first iteration of daylight savings was reduced to an hour and thirty minutes in 1907 and the first experimentation was held during WW1. However, the change was then revoked as people were conspiring about its usage as a wartime act. It wasn’t until 1966 that Congress passed the Uniform Act that standardized daylight savings. However, not all countries and states were down with this practice. In 1967, Arizona settled on continuing with Standard Time and rejected DST, citing that the change extended summer activities into the evenings and affected people who had to work early in the mornings the following day. Oregon itself had an approved bill by the Legislature that Oregon would become the first state to permanently be set on standard time, but the Oregon senators rejected the bill in February of 2024. Instead of waking up to a luminous sky as early as seven in the morning, Willamette students are walking to their classes, not fully conscious yet under a somewhat darkened sky. So why is adding more time in the day significant? People get to do more activities in the evenings when the sun hasn’t set, but it still disrupts their sleep schedule. Having light or not does not have an impact on the time people have to do day-to-day activities — regardless of the sunset, people can choose to do or not do their evening obligations. In contrast, losing sleep, even just one hour, is detrimental to students in particular. While there are energy drinks and coffee to get their blood pumping, these are not a very healthy stimulus and cannot replace the value of sleep. As such, there’s no real benefit to implementing this time adjustment. Many Bearcats are negatively affected by DST. Avery Horton (‘27) mentioned how inconvenient DST is and how the time shift and lack of light in the morning affects their mental health. They believe that “it would be great if [DST] didn’t exist,” while mentioning that it's baseless in forming a rally of support behind it. Along with Horton’s opinion, Daniel Barnard (‘27) agreed that morning darkness makes him depressed and that extending the clock forward by one hour is completely unnecessary. Complaints about DS are relevant due to possible change — according to an article in the digital paper Oregon Live, the bill that was previously rejected in February has now passed through the state Senate with the majority of the vote being 16-14; this changes everything. The article states,  “[The bill] would only go into effect if California and Washington approve similar measures,” so again, people must wait until all of this very controversial time adjustment takes effect or not. Knowing that it took approximately 70 years for Hudson’s idea to be passed and now awaiting the results to see if Daylight Savings will finally be discarded by California and Washington’s decision, means it’s unpredictable when updates will be announced and what the eventual results are going to be. So from now until Nov. 3, there will be more caffeine for the students and professors, more sunshine in the evenings and darkness in the mornings and the continuation of the ‘spring forward’ of the clocks. Students will gain that one hour of daylight at the expense of a regular sleep schedule — and perhaps their mental health — as Oregon awaits a decision on Daylight Savings.

The bronze Willamette seal depicting a beaver is located outside the Hatfield Library. The seal is known to all Willamette students and faculty; professors and students pass it by as they head to the Bistro, to classes and to Goudy. However, the superstition that stepping on the seal will automatically cause an individual bad luck is a mystery in itself. Perhaps the answer to how it became a superstition will never be known, but the ultimate questions are: Should students step on the seal? And … could all of this be a lie? A step on the seal is not unlike the phrase, “Step on a crack, break your mother’s back.” The superstition is not legitimate, but people avoid it anyway, and for what reason? The fear of failing midterms and finals? To avoid breaking their mother’s back? While it may be understandable to purposefully maneuver around the seal, being manipulated by a fictitious curse is quite frankly absurd. Why not step on the seal? The superstition has yet to be proven. As far as actual evidence goes, a student cannot be proven to have failed their exams because they accidentally stepped on the cursed seal. So, why are students avoiding the seal? After speaking with several students, a common opinion appeared to be that most people avoid stepping on the seal, so the seal’s “bad luck” is never tested. Emma Matthews (‘27) also mentioned, “Knowing that [students are] stepping on something that’s considered bad luck gives them bad luck.” If a person is unconsciously aware that they're stepping on the seal, they won’t be cursed with an “F” on their next exam. However, Sofawni Gay (‘27) stated, “This superstition was made up to try to keep the seal clean. ….  I haven’t stepped on it yet. … my dog won’t either.” So what does it mean? Either Willamette really cares about the cleanliness of the beaver, or it’s just paranoia guiding students in a different direction. Either way, it’s concerning that people let an unproven superstition control the way they walk to Goudy and the Bistro. Paranoia and fear are the common themes in motivations for avoiding the seal. But is it rational? There’s no documented evidence that anyone has failed their exams from stepping on the seal. If there’s no evidence, what makes the decision to not step on the seal comprehensible? If anything, it’s the reason to step on the seal — people like to rebel. People come from different backgrounds; backgrounds shape their personal beliefs that might make them avoid the curse of the seal. However, some people couldn’t care less about the superstition and prioritize getting to and from classes. All students are different, and yet all seem to share the same fear that “stepping on the seal will mess up exam scores,” according to Ciandra Choun (‘27). But how can that be accepted if there’s no hard evidence that this superstition is true? For any kind of apparition sighting, evidence is significant in proving its validity. If there’s no history behind this idea, isn’t it fair to speculate that the person or people who continue to convince students that they will fail their exams if they step on the seal, even years later, may have just created a myth? The temptation to step on it is right there, in the middle of Jackson Plaza. It jumps at students every time they pass through it. It tugs at their hearts, but still, the feeling of paranoia is controlling them. Failing is in no way connected to stepping on the seal. Why not step on the beaver? It’s not like some kind of discordant sound is going to ring in the background as the foot touches the face of the beaver! So, should students step on the seal? While most of the superstition has to do with personal beliefs, half of it is the tales that students have heard on Bearcat Days and through the campus tours. Really, it could just be propaganda spread by the administration to entice high school students to join the Willamette community. Students don’t want to take the chance of failing their exams. They avoid the beaver by circling around the bronze Willamette seal. There’s no certainty that this superstition is real. This could all be a lie to keep the seal clean, as Gay mentioned.  Is it really worth avoiding the seal based on gossip and a coincidentally failed exam? This all could be fictitious. Some students are more superstitious than others, but all the situation comes down to is personal belief.

Ole Bolle, the giant 19-foot troll of the Portland Nordic Center, holds a very special place in the hearts of many. Invented by Danish sculpture artist Thomas Dambo, the giant lives in Fogelbo, peeping into the historic Nordic house that rests just beyond the grounds of the main Nordia House. Tall trees frame the red onlooker house that the troll statue looks into. Allegedly based on a poem, the troll is peering into the vacant window of the red, cottage-like house to locate a cookie jar. With large eyes and a body made of wood paneling, he looms over the small shape. The Nordic Center describes the troll’s creation on its website: “Drawing inspiration from historic Fogelbo and the traditional ‘stugas,’ designs were planned, and preparations were made over a few short months.” The troll and its surrounding exhibit pieces were completed in about 10 days, and on Aug. 17, 2023, “After over 438 hours of work by 93 volunteers, Nordic Northwest welcomed our new troll.” The Troll is housed at the Portland Nordic Center, Nordic Northwest. Nordic Northwest is a Pacific Northwest non-profit organization that aspires to preserve the history of the Nordic nations. The center consists of a few key buildings. The central Nordia house is crafted with the shapes and textures of Viking ships, dense forests and the movement of water. Grand doors open to two central exhibit halls, space for activity and collaboration, a Swedish cafe, and a gift shop selling Nordic mythology-related goods. Artist Dambo describes the troll on his website: “His name is Ole-Bolle and it originates from an old Danish troll song. Both Ole and the house are entirely built of reclaimed wood and old pallets, and you can find and visit him for free in the garden behind Nordia House in Portland, Oregon.” Ole Bolle was built as part of a six-installment art series of Nordic statues across the Pacific Northwest, titled “Northwest Trolls: The Way of the Bird King.” Dambo has also successfully crafted trolls in Bainbridge Island, West Seattle, Issaquah, Ballard, and Vashon. Created entirely by Thomas and a small army of volunteers, the trolls are crafted with an environmental stance in mind. Each of these projects utilizes recycled materials, reflecting the project's dedication to environmental responsibility. For Dambo, preserving Nordic history requires preserving natural resources. The work was created with the support of Nordic Northwest and the Scan Design Foundation. Created by a couple hailing from Denmark, the foundation strives to incorporate Scandinavian architecture specifically into the furnishings of homes in the Pacific Northwest. In addition to pursuing cultural exchange, their organization also focuses on educational opportunities in the form of internships or study abroad opportunities relating to their mission. Aligning with environmental sustainability and the awareness that Dambo emphasizes, the Scan Design Foundation supports creating artwork sustainably. Having supported the creation of not only Ole Bolle but all of the other PNW trolls, the foundation values their connection to Dambo. Ole Bolle brings light to the Nordic Center through craft, playfulness, and a sense of whimsy. According to the organization’s website, “[The troll] provides opportunities for youth and adults to learn, support, and make a difference in our environment. The trolls are visiting the Pacific Northwest from Denmark because they desire to help the little people: humans.​”

The Roy S. “Spec” Keene Stadium, otherwise known as “The John,” is gaining some upgrades. The Oregon legislature recently granted $3 million to Willamette for the addition of artificial turf and lights to the baseball field. This funding is a part of Senate Bill 5701, designating funding to entertainment and cultural organizations across the state. While the bill passed with an overwhelming majority (49-7) on March 7, there are some who believe the money could be better distributed. SB5701 is a “Christmas Tree Bill,” decorated with quality-of-life improvements and gifts to encourage economic growth and make constituents happy. The Salem Baseball and Softball Turf Project has raised over half the funds needed; SB5701 provides the last of the funding to make the project possible. In return for the state funding, the field will be available for rent to local K-12, college and community organizations during the Bearcats’ off-season. The deal was made as part of a recent partnership between Willamette, Salem-Keizer Public Schools and the Salem Baseball Club to address the needs of Salem youth. “The youth of Salem-Keizer desperately need more year round safe outdoor space,” wrote Luke Emanuel of the Salem Baseball and Softball Turf Project in the funding request. The field will also be available for YMCA, Boys & Girls Club and Special Olympics programming needs. Furthermore, the Keene stadium will become an emergency disaster relief destination for Marion County. The state also hopes the increased funding will spur tourism to Salem. Although there are over 100 synthetic turf baseball and softball fields in Oregon, none are in Salem. Considering that 84% of Salem-Keizer’s 40,318 students are economically disadvantaged, many are unable to participate in organized sports. The Salem-Keizer school district, in the midst of budget cuts, is unable to afford to add turf to all six of the public high schools' 12 baseball and softball fields as would be necessary to comply with Title IX. Through SB5701, many children and locals across Salem will finally have access to a safe, central outdoor environment to play baseball and softball. Willamette also hopes to benefit from the upgrades. Synthetic turf fields conserve water, reduce maintenance and reduce environmental pollution from gas-powered equipment and fertilizer. Players will no longer have to sponge pools of water in order to use the field while it’s raining. Currently, if it is raining during practice times, players have to find alternate areas to practice, using McCulloch’s or Sparks’ turf fields. If these fields are in use by another athletic team, practices are rescheduled. Improving Willamette baseball’s practices will only have positive results on their already strong presence. “It will improve quality and ability to play,” said outfielder Nate Hamburger (‘26). “We’re going to get out there and keep winning.”

Welcome back, Bearcat Fan! While you were galavanting across Europe or pulling teeth at home with your well-meaning but abrasive families, spring athletes were hard at work, often to no particular end. Let’s get back to work ourselves and head to the news! Men’s Golf struck gold at the George Fox Invitational. They surpassed Linfield in the team standings by a mere three points. Women’s Golf languished at the UCSC Invitational. Roberta Moore (‘26) led the ‘Cats but still failed to make par. Baseball ceded conference supremacy to those evil sadists and future IRS officers from Walla Walla. They pulled one win of a possible three from the Pirates, then defeated Linfield twice, but fell in their final (11-inning) matchup. Track and Field is preparing for the conference championships. Whitley Stepp (‘26) and newcomer Steeley Mucken (‘27) chomped at the bit as the ‘Cats charged through spring break. Lacrosse picked up three more wins. They are tied for second in the conference. George Fox still lurks in the farmlands, a black mark on the horizon. Tennis put in a shift, battling it out against four schools each over the break. Both squads failed to find a team victory, however. May our racket-wielding peers gaze upon the oaks that border their court and be reminded that they sprouted from humble acorns. Softball went 2-2 against Whitworth, who stand alone below them on the table. In the world of sport: No. 11 seed North Carolina State danced its way to the March Madness Final Four, and by the release of this Fast Break, LSU and Iowa’s women’s squads will have carried out a championship rematch in the Elite Eight. Consider in the coming weeks: Are you feeling like Travis Bickle in that one scene from “Taxi Driver” where he’s working out and monologuing ominously? Good. Finals are a month away. No more destroyers of your body. Total organization. Every muscle tight.

In a startling development, a spider has been discovered in Lausanne. The unsettling revelation has sparked concerns among students about their safety and well-being. Upon arriving at the scene, cries were overheard from the window: “Babe, kill it! Kill it! No, don’t put it outside. What if it jumps on me?” “We take the health and safety of our students very seriously,” said Montgomery Bagels, health and safety coordinator of Lausanne. “We are committed to addressing this issue swiftly and thoroughly to ensure that all students feel safe and comfortable in their living spaces.” As the residents of Lausanne grapple with this unexpected development, students are banding together to support one another and share information about how to deal with the situation. Despite the initial shock and discomfort, students are determined to remain resilient and focused on their academic pursuits. “I’m staying with a friend in Kaneko tonight so I can sleep with peace of mind. I have an 8 a.m. [class] tomorrow!” exclaimed Mike Rotch (‘27). Updates will be provided as the story develops.

Willamette has recently unveiled the speaker for the upcoming commencement ceremony: Emmy Award Winning Actress, Comedian and Animal Lover Jennifer Coolidge. “We are very excited to have someone of such distinguished character speak for the class of 2024,” said President Steve Thorsett. Coolidge's unique blend of humor, charm and warmth is expected to resonate with graduates and their families alike. Coolidge is overjoyed to have been asked to speak, saying, “Oh, wow! Thank you! Thank you so much! I’ve always wanted to be a Bearcat.” Coolidge will receive an honorary doctorate in milfanomics, reflecting not only her contributions to the entertainment industry but also her vivacious passion for giving back to her community. This recognition further solidifies her connection to Willamette University and its values of academic excellence, community engagement and Bearcat spirit. With Coolidge at the helm, the commencement ceremony promises to be an unforgettable celebration of achievement, inspiration and the limitless possibilities that lie ahead for the graduating class of 2024.

On April 1, 2024, Willamette announced the creation of a new administrative position, the dean of deans of deans. The new dean of deans of deans, Daniel Danielson, is now in charge of the three deans of deans who are subsequently in charge of all of the deans at Willamette. Danielson brings fifteen years of experience to the role, the last nine as the dean of all-nighters at Bikini Bottom University. “I got tired of supervising so many students spending all night studying without being productive at all. I wanted a career change, and Willamette offered me the best position I could have asked for,” he said. Danielson’s new responsibilities include training, supervising and periodically meeting with all deans of deans to ensure their respective deans are meeting their yearly goals and expectations. He commented that the creation of this new position comes after 34 new deans and two new deans of deans were hired last academic year. “We started having so many deans that not even their supervisors could handle the work, so the Board of Trustees created the position of dean of deans of deans and offered me the role.” The new hires at Willamette include the dean of baby nutria, who supervises the populations of baby nutria on campus, and the dean of wacky Yik Yak posts, who is in charge of educating and correcting the behavior of students who post stupid and outrageous messages on the popular social media platform Yik Yak. Jackie Jackson is another one of the new deans hired by Willamette and is currently the youngest member of the university administration at 25. Her new position, dean of members of the administration with extremely long titles that not even themselves can remember, is in charge of helping the institution come up with the longest possible titles to give new hires. “My job at Willamette is crucial and I am flattered that I was chosen among all the candidates,” Jackson stated, adding that “the trick is to add words that sound cool and meaningful to administrative titles, like learning, success, community and service.” For instance, Jackson came up with the name of one of Willamette’s most anticipated hires, the dean of student success in community-building projects and sustainability procedures among community members invested in service opportunities and developmental learning when no other deans with extremely long titles are available to manage such projects. Michael Michaelson, who now holds this position, stated, “I have absolutely no idea what my job entails, but it sounds cool as hell. My title was initially going to be longer, but Jackson had to make it shorter because my computer would crash every time I tried to create a Gmail signature,” Michaelson said in an email. “Cheers to a new beginning and a more productive school year. Let’s hope in several years I can be promoted to dean of deans of deans of deans,” Danielson concluded.