In a startling development, a spider has been discovered in Lausanne. The unsettling revelation has sparked concerns among students about their safety and well-being.
Upon arriving at the scene, cries were overheard from the window: “Babe, kill it! Kill it! No, don’t put it outside. What if it jumps on me?”
“We take the health and safety of our students very seriously,” said Montgomery Bagels, health and safety coordinator of Lausanne. “We are committed to addressing this issue swiftly and thoroughly to ensure that all students feel safe and comfortable in their living spaces.”
As the residents of Lausanne grapple with this unexpected development, students are banding together to support one another and share information about how to deal with the situation. Despite the initial shock and discomfort, students are determined to remain resilient and focused on their academic pursuits. “I’m staying with a friend in Kaneko tonight so I can sleep with peace of mind. I have an 8 a.m. [class] tomorrow!” exclaimed Mike Rotch (‘27).
Updates will be provided as the story develops.