Opinion: The age of aging is upon us. It’s time to embrace it

Preventing the symptoms of a life well-lived is now cheaper than ever! $39.99 (plus tax, of course). Graphic by Alyssa Diggdon.

The past few years have been ruled by discourse on women’s aging. There’s been controversy on the presentation of aging in “The Substance,” on Julia Fox declaring “aging is sexy,” and most recently on a Dolly Parton and Sabrina Carpenter interaction. To promote a new remix, Carpenter and Parton filmed a music video together and shared behind-the-scenes footage from the filming. At one point, Parton joked that she and Carpenter are before and after pictures. “You’ll be this old one day,” Parton remarked. Despite the evident self-deprecation of Parton’s comment and its implicit commentary that to be older is to be lesser, Carpenter lights up: “I know, I can’t wait! I hope I look like you.” This comment, which addressed growing older with excitement rather than fear, resonated with a lot of people, especially considering the current online culture surrounding aging and beauty.

Social media has been overtaken by multitudinous skin care routines consisting of so-called clarifying and anti-wrinkle products, women in their early twenties are getting “baby botox” and filler to prevent signs of aging before they even begin, and elementary schoolers are investing in expensive skin care to mitigate conditions they’re years away from having. These trends are just the newest iteration of an ongoing push to demean and marginalize older women.

As they get older, women are pushed from the workforce, seen as incompetent and expendable by their employers. For some women, this is merely demoralizing. For others, this money is the difference between a comfortable retirement with access to the healthcare they need or a life spent in constant financial and physical turmoil. Many older women live with financial insecurity, and even those without still face societal ridicule. They’re made to feel invisible, disgusting or the butt of a joke instead of being treated with respect. In Susan Sontag’s 1972 article, “The Double Standard of Aging,” she highlights the way men’s age is celebrated: they’re treated as wise, authoritative or even suave, while women are encouraged to devote their remaining years to maintaining a youthful appearance. 

In a culture that primarily values women for their caregiving abilities, labor and sex appeal, there’s no place for older women. Make no mistake: women are both pressured into motherhood and punished for it, sidelined in the workplace and constantly objectified. However, even in this second-class status, they still have a role in society. Not so for older women. And thus, they must be cast aside. 

It makes sense, then, that many women would resist physical signs of aging for as long as possible in order to maintain their jobs and position in the world. This process is made easy, thanks to the hundreds of cosmetic procedures, skin care and makeup companies all interested in helping women resist the passage of time. Time passing is inevitable, as is aging, so as long as older women face discrimination, these companies have a profitable market. Herein lies the root of social media’s new skin care craze: if companies can target younger women’s insecurities around their age and appearance, they’ve unlocked a whole new demographic to exploit and profit from. Now, it’s not enough to fight your acne, your body hair, your natural smell, your weight, and your features. You must also prevent your skin from wrinkling, loosening or showing any signs you’ve led a life. 

These marketing tactics are working completely. At least online, personal maintenance has become a full-time job. Skin care routines have gone from being three steps to 15. Elementary and middle schoolers are flocking to Sephora to purchase pricey anti-acne and anti-aging products. These products are a status symbol, a primary component of an aspirational lifestyle. Outside of products, medical procedures to change one’s appearance are increasingly popular. Botox and filler are seen as everyday upkeep, so these procedures are visible on young and old women alike. 

Many of these women, such as Madonna or “Love Island” contestant Nicole Samuel, have been made public punching bags because of these very same procedures. Samuel and many other women from her season are being mocked online for looking “old” or “scary” for their filler. This commentary rings most hypocritical from the plastic surgeons who have chimed in with their own criticism, considering they make their millions benefitting from the reasonable insecurities of people like Samuel. 

Clearly, there’s no way to win. Older women are mistreated due to their aging, and younger women are scorned for trying to resist aging. All the while, men remain in power and huge corporations continue to profit from women’s oppression. In an impossible game, the best solution is not to play. However, that’s an unfair proposition for those whose livelihoods and wellbeing rely on a certain appearance. To suggest this, one must first advocate for workplace protection of older women and a more robust safety net for retirement, which are worthwhile but challenging goals. For now, decentering the pursuit of beauty from personal identity is a worthy aim.

Yes, women have to play the game. But they don’t have to like it. The idea that constant self-maintenance or a multitude of products is somehow “self-care” or “empowerment” is a lie, carefully crafted by corporations who want nothing more than to suck you dry and leave you with nothing but an empty wallet and a husk of self-identity. Don’t believe the lie. Instead, defy. Lift your face towards the sun. Wrinkle your forehead in genuine self-expression. Let your mouth and eyes crease due to your smiles. Let your face be proof of a life well-lived.