Opinion: What's really inside the tote bag? An analysis of the “performative male” trend

The "Performative Male" paper doll with all his accessories. Art by Basil Allen.

In early August 2025, Seattle’s Cal Anderson Park was the venue of a Performative Male Contest, drawing large crowds of matcha-drinking, tote-bag-wearing contestants. This event was one of many similar gatherings throughout the nation, in the wake of the performative male trend gaining significant traction on social media platforms. 

For those who are unfamiliar, Urban Dictionary defines performative males as men who create a persona for themselves based on niche interests in music and literature, often feminist, in the hopes of winning the romantic favor of women. While these young men dressed in thrifted clothes and carrying around copies of Sylvia Plath’s “The Bell Jar” may seem harmless or even a positive challenge to gender roles, they represent a new wave of anti-intellectualism, consumerism and toxic masculinity hiding behind a façade of insincere wokeness. 

The performative male taking center stage of social media discourse in the last year has contributed to a subtle but growing wave of anti-intellectualism specifically targeted towards men. It promotes the idea that men cannot engage in “feminine” hobbies or enjoy certain media without appearing disingenuous to onlookers, further discouraging men from taking genuine interest in literature and music. 

When asked if the performative male trend has made her more likely to assume a man reading in public was doing it performatively, Lola Nelson (’29) responded, “The better part of me would say no because that kind of feels mean to assume that someone, if they're enjoying a passion … that they're trying to do it to get attention. But also, you do have to be wary of that kind of thing now.” 

With his sudden interest in collecting niche vinyls and journaling in cafes, the performative male manipulates women while simultaneously making it difficult for non-performative males to engage genuinely with music and literature. Saida Seelig (’26) emphasized the negative impact that the trend has on men, specifically: “People are just assuming if a guy has interests and hobbies, it's because he's trying to impress women,” they said. This trend is an unfortunate development as the number of women in higher education continues to outpace men. Between the online condemnation of “simping,” toxic masculinity, and now the widespread mockery of performative males, social media is making it increasingly difficult to exist as an male-identifying person without being placed into one of these derogatory categories. 

While performative males strive to appear progressive on the surface, this manipulation is perhaps even more harmful than a man being genuine about his lack of concern with feminism and “wokeness.” As stated by Nelson, “They're pretending to stand for something while not actually doing anything for it because it garners female attention.” Performative males cast themselves as the antithesis of “toxic masculinity” but possess none of the necessary convictions. Their existence can create the perception that young men are becoming more empathetic and breaking through gender roles, while in fact the motivation of the truly performative male is to take advantage of women by cultivating a persona that is fundamentally deceptive. 

Like most social media trends, the issue of the performative male is much smaller than online algorithms make it feel. Performative males are likely only seen in high densities attending indie concerts or wandering the isles of a local book store, but this trending archetype is one of many potentially harmful personas on the internet such as the “basic white girl,” “old money” or the “clean girl” that conflate material possessions and styles with character traits. 

The connection between these trends and consumerism is undeniable, as following them requires buying whatever items currently define the archetype. “It's almost as if what you consume becomes your identity,” said Seelig. This may seem like meaningless internet shenanigans to people who are able to critically view media, but the endless stream of social media trends certainly has an impact on impressionable young people who are liable to fall victim to these consumer traps. 

It's not just non-performative males that are taking a hit from this viral internet persona. The trend has brought the very idea of being perceived as performative to the forefront of public discussion, leading to increased awareness of how one’s interests are viewed by others. Nelson mentioned how this negative side of social media has personally affected her. “It definitely makes me more conscious of, like, ‘What band tee am I wearing?’ And also the things that are associated with it.” 

Seelig revealed a similar struggle with this hyper-awareness: “When I was on the internet, it made me feel like I was always being perceived. I felt like there was always somebody filming, in a way, even if I was just by myself.” The struggle for authenticity in an increasingly performative world has only become more apparent as these trends mutate and spread. 

Seelig insightfully talked about how our interests should serve to attract the people we want to surround ourselves with. “People can and should go to the ends of the Earth to find the people that they love,” they said. Humans have always displayed who we are to others by how we choose to appear. Truly performative males and their manipulations designed to take advantage of women should be differentiated from the way we all try to reflect our personalities outwards. 

The performative male trend is not the first viral internet persona of its kind, and it certainly won't be the last. It's important to learn how to co-exist with the effects of social media and establish boundaries to prevent it from harming our enjoyment of life and everything it has to offer. As for the performative male, all good trends must ultimately come to an end — unfortunately for the matcha industry.