Crisp E.
(Definitely not Chrissy Ewald)
High Priestess
Of the many traditions celebrated on Willamette’s undergraduate campus, one of the most controversial is the Willamette Challenge. For those not in the know, the Willamette Challenge dares students to have sex in every academic building on campus. Waller Hall is considered by many the crown jewel of difficulty, especially for those who have any respect for the sanctity of Cone Chapel.
After years of going under the radar, this longstanding tradition is being thrust into the spotlight. Willamette’s Virginity Club, established in February of this year, has set its sights on the Willamette Challenge as part of its crusade against premarital sex on campus. A spokesperson for the club told The Collegian in an interview, “Things like the Willamette Challenge can pressure otherwise committed virgins into straying from the path. People might argue that it’s harmless college fun. Well, it isn’t. And the Willamette Virginity Club is committed to doing whatever needs to be done to stop it and keep Willamette pure.”
The virginity club has found a seemingly unlikely ally on campus: disgruntled PPLE students, who lost their hearth when someone left evidence of a sexual escapade in the room’s trash can. Despite being one of the largest majors, PPLE students don’t currently have a dedicated place on campus to meet and study. One PPLE major, Josine Eckler (‘24), spoke in favor of the club’s initiative. “I want my fucking hearth back,” she said, “and without people desecrating it, there’s a better chance we might get one again. It’s a bit of a mystery who could have done it in the first place--you didn’t hear this from me,” she said, glancing over her shoulder, “but no PPLE major is getting any.” Another PPLE major, Mina Karthan (‘24), was overheard wishing that whoever was responsible for the hearth closure “never finishes again.”
The virginity club also found support from other humanities departments by speaking out against the effect the Willamette challenge has on their main building, Walton/Smullin. A spokesperson for the club called on administration to remove the locks on classroom doors to remove, quote, “the temptation presented by an empty building with lockable rooms to abandon the mission to remain pure.” According to sources within the club, leadership is debating advocating removing locks on dorm rooms as well, to reduce instances of premarital sex in residence halls, an issue club members are very concerned about.
Other measures to reduce premarital sex on campus have been proposed, such as mandatory installment of life-sized cutouts of our beloved university president, Steve Thorsett, in classrooms and dorms. Junior Davy Carlton suggested the university require cornflakes at every meal to reduce sexual urges. A senior said he has found having a “virginity buddy” helpful in shielding him from unwanted attention: “I bring him along to parties, and if things are going a little too well with someone, I signal him over and he starts talking about Radiohead until they leave.”
When asked their opinion on the virginity club’s crusade, a freshman The Collegian cornered in Baxter Hall said, “what’s the Willamette Challenge?”
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