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Former Delta Gamma House to Become Golden Corral

Jake Procino

News editor

and Sam Johnston

By Jake Procino.

After much hand-wringing and deliberation, the Willamette administration announced today that 880 Mill Street SE, the former home of the Delta Gamma sorority, will open as a new location of the buffet chain Golden Corral. The move comes after intense speculation over the future of the facility among members of the Willamette community.

Vice President for Marketing and Communications Timmy Corn-on-the-Cobb stated: “Our main focus with this property was finding a partnership that balances the needs of our diverse student body. With so many options available, there’s something for everyone at this great dining establishment!”

Reaction among former Delta Gamma members was mixed. One anonymous student said, “It’s truly a shame to see my former home defaced by such a disgusting restaurant. Seriously, have you ever been inside a Golden Corral? They lure you in with low buffet prices, but the true cost is paid by your colon the next day.” Other students expressed excitement for the revitalization of the abandoned house, “I can’t wait to stuff myself silly on overcooked pasta, steak that’s been sitting under a heat lamp for three hours and soft serve ice cream.”

Willamette’s former sorority row has struggled lately with a high rate of abandoned homes, but university officials are hopeful that this grand opening will spark a revitalization of the blighted neighborhood. Plans are in the works to transform the old Pi Beta Phi house into a Motel 6, and to open a Les Schwab Tire Center in the soon-to-be-vacated Alpha Chi Omega house.

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1 commentaire

Membre inconnu
02 avr. 2021

Maybe we can turn the empty wing of Kenako into an Amazon warehouse

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